I came up with this idea on the day I turned 40.  It was a Saturday and I had spent the day working at a garage sale for my daughter’s non-profit.  It was mid-July in southern Louisiana and the temperature was 95 degrees with a heat index of about 105 with 70% humidity.  After getting there at 6:00 am and working until noon I was suffering from heat exhaustion, and on the verge of having a heat stroke.  My wife, a nurse practitioner, was even slightly concerned about my well-being.  Any man who has ever been married to a nurse will empathize with my struggle.  Women who have been nurses for some time, especially those who have spent time in the ER setting, are numb to men complaining about injuries or illness.  So the fact that she was slightly concerned meant that I should be concerned.  My heart rate was a steady 160, my face was beet-red, I had a headache, and I was very dizzy.  It was noon, I was spent, and just wanted to go home, cool off, and rest.  

My wife then informed me that she had a surprise for me.  She had rented a lake house and we were to meet some friends that Saturday night to go have some fun on the boat the following day.  I was grateful and happy that she had spent so much time and effort planning this weekend for me but was very unexcited about leaving my house to go “party” with my friends for the weekend.  I really just wanted to spend the rest of my day resting and cooling off.  

It hit me when my 4-year-old son wanted to play with me and I told him I had to pack to go to the lake with my friends for my birthday.  He looked up at me and said “daddy you want to be with your friends to celebrate your birthday?”  I told him mom had planned a surprise trip for me and that I had to go.  He was visibly disappointed and it broke my heart because there was nothing more that I wanted to do than to be with my family on this day. 

The time at the lake was fun.  We played games, rode around on the boat, and had a great time.  But for me, I just wanted to be with my kids. I was now 40 and just wanted to be with my 4-year-old son and 3-year-old daughter.  I guess it was at this time that it hit me that I may have started my “mid-life crises.”  

I started to think things like “If I die soon, how would my kids remember me?”  Then I thought things like “There are so many things I want to teach my children.  If I die, how would they know what I wanted to tell them?’’  This blog was spawned from that thought and fear.  

So this blog is dedicated to my children and I guess I want to use it as a type of insurance policy.  Should anything happen to me, these words will forever be available to them and, who knows, maybe their children as well.  It would be pretty amazing that when I pass, I leave them full access to this site, and my family would continue to view and contribute to this blog so they can always have access to my words, and the next generations to come. 

Mike Czerwinski – Dad